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Harry Potter and the Big Huge Giant Spoilers

Potterphiles, you can breathe a sigh of relief, because The Onion has your back with an important spoiler warning. Apparently, that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows book gives away the ending of everything and everyone to do with Potter!

“The whole experience is completely ruined for me,” said 25-year-old fan Ethan Clay, adding that the book builds up suspense, and then, without warning, gives away vital, plot-altering information. “The least [Rowling] could have done was put a spoiler alert or something on the front cover.”

Nothing is safe anymore. Avert your eyes!

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