Judo as slapstick comedy, courtesy of Vlad “The Rushin’ Russian” Putin
In the latest issue of the London Review of Books, editor Daniel Soar introduces the world to an excellent judo manual. It has descriptions of all of the basic judo moves, clear drawings, and explanations of various strategies. And, oh yeah, it’s co-written by Vladimir Putin.
Putin provides a striking metaphor to demonstrate the judo master’s technique. He calls it ‘give way in order to conquer’. Imagine you are a locked door. Your opponent wants to break you open with his shoulder. If he is ‘big and strong enough and rams through the door (that is, you) from a running start, he will achieve his aim’. But here’s the neat bit. If instead of ‘digging in your heels and resisting your opponent’s onslaught’, you unlock it at the last minute, then, ‘not meeting any resistance and unable to stop, your opponent bursts through the wide-open door, losing balance and falling.’ If you’re even more cunning, you can stop being a door and stick out a leg, causing him to trip as he sails through. ‘Minimum effort, maximum effect’, as Russia’s effortlessly effective president says.
The article goes on to apply Putin’s judo strategies to his actions at the recent G8 summit, and finds striking similarities. Soar is also disturbed by Putin’s intimate knowledge of how to inflict pain, including detailed instructions for executing a manoeuvre called the “hand squeeze”: “seize your opponent’s hand and press between the central finger-bones with the pad of your thumb. If you press hard enough, you will cause him to ‘fall on his back from the severe pain in his wrist.’ Gentle pressure applied along these lines by Putin might explain the pained grimace Blair wears whenever the two shake hands.”
